I haven't blogged in awhile, because.....well because I really haven't had too much to blog about.....until last week.
My mother has a bullmastiff (this is a huge-@ss dog that slobbers and has a face that appears to have been hit by a mack truck). Nonetheless, he is nationally ranked and has quite a few of the "ladies" wanting to breed to him. So my mother is sort of his pimp, if you will. Recently, she was contacted by a breeder in Australia who wants to "use" Elliot....long story short the only vet in Texas that is certified to send Elliot's little swimmers to Australia is in the Metroplex. So the four of us (mom aka Pimp, Annabell, Elliot and myself) get up bright and early to drive to Carollton, take Elliot to the vet and then do a little shopping. Now when mom and I shop, we don't hit the mall, we are more antique shoppers; so we were thrilled to find out that Carollton has a downtown area full of vintage boutiques and antique stores. Check it out if you are ever in the area. Annabell, being the little trooper she is, gets buckled into her umbrella stroller and away we go. She smiles and coos at the fellow shoppers, genuinely charming her way into the hearts of everyone....one particular shop owner especially.
Now, picture a plump lady with tight red curls, invoking the "Red Queen" for those of you who have seen Alice in Wonderland. She smiles and greets us from behind the counter and then locks on to Annabell:
Red Queen/Shop Owner: "Oh! I just LOVE a fat baby!"
Me: (Ok, did she really just say fat? Did I understand her correctly with her Southern accent??)
Red Queen/Shop Owner: "Don't you just LOVE a fat baby! I just LOVE a fat baby!"
Me: (Ok, YES, she is referring to my child and using the word fat.....why doesn't she just pick up an antique knife and stab me in the heart!)
Red Queen/Shop Owner: "Yes I doooooo so LOVE a fat baby!"
We exited the store shortly after, just before the lady could snatch up AB and stick her in an oven to be devoured later, followed by mom saying, "I hope that B*tch didn't think we were buying anything after she called our baby fat!"
Well said mother, well said.
Pleasantly Plump?.....yes Fat?.......NO!!
This is Sassy the Bullmastiff (Elliot is a little too boisterous to play with Annabell)
